Five Years Ago Today

It was five years ago today March 23, 2009 that my mother passed away.  I can honestly say that hardly a day goes by that something doesn't remind me of her.  Sometimes it is just catching a whiff of Eternity, her brand of perfume.  Other times I think of something I want to ask her or tell her.  Talk of college basketball during March Madness brings back a vivid memory of her sitting in her recliner with  the NCAA bracket spread out on her lap as she watched the game she loved.  Once I came to visit during the tournament and her boss was surprised that she allowed me to come during this crucial time!

Although I miss her so much, I know that the experiences surrounding her death were 'tender mercies', personal individualized blessing from a loving Father in Heaven given to me and also to her.

I flew down to Arkansas to visit my mother on Thursday March 19th.  I picked that date because it worked best with our schedules.   No other reasons.

 

I arrived on a Thursday night and Momma and I spent the next several days doing all our favorite things together.  We walked at the Community Center.  She went to her water aerobics class and then we went out to lunch with her friends.  She ordered a new HD TV and we shopped from one end of McCain Mall to the other looking for a new swimming suit for her since she was in the pool 5 days a week!  We ate dinner with my cousin Janie and her husband and had a nice visit with Momma's sister Clarice Edna. Naturally we enjoyed a barbecue sandwich from my favorite place, "The White Pig Inn". Since I love black-eyed peas, she always had a huge bowl of them ready for me.  By Saturday night I had eaten all she had prepared.  At about 10:00 pm she asked me if I would like her to make me another pot of peas.  Of course I did!  Around midnight she picked out the clothes she was going to wear to church the next day and hung them on her door knob.  We joked that she would probably change her mind in the morning. We hugged and went to bed.

I heard her get up around 7:00 but I stayed in bed until  8.  When I got up she was sitting in her chair.  The paper was folded neatly by her feet, her Ensure drink was on her table, and she was dressed for church.  I said "Good Morning" and she didn't respond but I thought she was just asleep so I made some toast, got the paper and sat down at the table.  It was then that I realized her snoring didn't sound normal so I walked over and investigated more closely and realized that I couldn't wake her up.  I called 911, police and an ambulance arrived quickly.  The paramedics thought she had suffered a stroke so they transported her to St. Vincent's Hospital in North Little Rock.  I followed in her car.  The ER doctor and the neurologist knew pretty quickly that it wasn't a stroke.  A CAT scan confirmed the bad news that she had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage so massive that there could be no 'meaningful recovery'.  She was taken to the ICU where she spent the night.  

So much family and so many friends came by to see her and comfort me!  I never felt alone.  Momma never seemed in pain, never moaned or grimaced.  It seemed that she was just asleep.  Another 'tender mercy' for her and for the family.

She left this earth the next day Monday March 23rd at about noon with me holding one hand and her beloved sister Clarice holding the other, surrounded by the family she loved so much.  Yet another loving kindness from our Father in Heaven. 

A coincidence that I happened to be there on that day?  I don't think so.  If the hemorrhage had happened when I was in Idaho, there was no way I could have arrived in time.  We would not have had those fun-filled days together nor would I have been with her as she slipped to the other side of the veil. Although her death was a horrible shock, she was her active, busy, involved, alert self until the very morning of her hemorrhage. Yet another 'loving kindness' for both of us.   

These memories of the simpleness, sweetness and constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord have done much to fortify me, strengthen my faith in my Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ, and to make me aware of the small blessings in my life.  My mother liked the New Testament verses about the value of the sparrow.  A favorite song of hers had this line, "His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me".  Even through the sorrow that comes with a death of a beloved parent, I too know that he watches me and I am grateful for the personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurance, guidance, loving kindness, consolation, support and spiritual gifts that I have been given in the past and that I am given everyday. Heavenly Father has filled my life with 'tender mercies'.