I Am A Girl From Africa

Kenya Keys founder, Rinda Hayes, sometimes refers to Kenyan young women as 'girls of steel'.  During the years that I have been associated with Kenya Keys, I have found this title to be completely applicable.  Like steel, these young women can be bent and stretched to the maximum before breaking. They face obstacles that we can hardly imagine.  Their challenges are real, like hunger, (one meal a day is the norm), lack of sanitary supplies, the possibility of being forced by parents into an early marriage, the dangers of sex trafficking,  an illness with no medical care available, and always the fear of not having resources to achieve their educational dreams, yet their tenacity and determination, what my grandmother might have called 'sheer grit', are a wonder to behold.  

I was delighted on this trip to sit down with a group of these incredible girls to discuss the book, I Am A Girl From Africa by Elizabeth Nyamayaro. Like the girls in our discussion group, Elizabeth was born into poverty but she had a dream of becoming a UN worker.  This dream was an anchor on Elizabeth's incredible journey from a mud hut in Zimbabwe to the halls of the United Nations in New York.  Her story would be inspiring to anyone but most especially to a group of young Kenyan secondary school girls who also have big dreams.

In the book, Elizabeth's grandmother talked to her of 'shinga' - an inner strength that God gave to Africans because he 'knew that life wasn't going to be easy....shinga is inner strength but so much more - shinga means courage and to 'be strong' and it also means to 'persevere' and to be 'resilient'.   Sounds like girls of steel huh? 

When I asked these girls to share their dreams, they answered immediately.  Some wanted to be doctors or lawyers or nurses or teachers. One girl dreamed of being a human right lawyer, another a cardiac surgeon; another a social worker, one even dreamed of being an air hostess. All dreamed of education past high school.  And every single one of them longed to give back to their families and communities.

We talked about the African concept of ubuntu, which means "I am because we are, and because we are, you are'.  Ubuntu means that we share the weight of work and sorrow, and the lightness of joy and abundance.  We pray for  the sick, we bless one another each time we meet; we pray for rain and celebrate together when it arrives'.  It means that your dream doesn't just belong to you, it is a dream for all of us." This group of teenaged girls live this concept each day.  Remember the longing of each girl to give back to their families and communities?  That isn't fake.   We are seeing this over and over again as formerly Kenya Keys sponsored students who have achieved their educational dreams, now support the education of others.

The discussion of ubuntu led us to think about the heroes of the book.  Obviously, Elizabeth is a heroine of her own story but when I asked the girls who else were heroes their answers came quickly.  They named Elizabeth's grandmother who sold her cows and goats to buy her granddaughter a ticket to London.  Uncle Sam and Aunt Jane who encouraged Elizabeth in her studies.  The UN doctor who took a chance on an untrained young woman with big dreams and gave Elizabeth her first UN volunteer job.  The African proverb is "It takes a village to raise a child".  I might amend that to say, "It takes a village to make dreams come true."   Sometimes the heroes leave the village to achieve their dreams and sometimes the heroes stay at home and rejoice in the fulfilled dreams of others.

Another concept we discussed was that dreams are an anchor or a foundation.  Elizabeth says, "My dream anchors me - even when I'm tired and hungry, and even when the days are long and unpleasant".  After the discussion I had prepared an activity for each girl.  

They had the chance to design their own book cover with encouraging words or things they wanted to remember about the book. Hopefully this visual aid will be another anchor to their dreams.

What could possibly be better than discussing I Am A Girl From Africa with these 'girls of steel' who dream big dream! And who understand the African proverb, "your dream is a dream for your community".

And thanks to Kenya Keys for helping so many to have their dreams come true!

Where I've lived

 Every place I have ever lived has been wonderful.

In doing a quick count of the places I have called home, I realized that I lived in Arkansas, New York, Rhode Island and Maryland before I was 6 years old.  Then two years in Sicily

After that the count goes:

10 years in Lonoke, Arkansas 

2 years in Mississippi

2 years in Utah

13 years in Colorado

1 year in California

5 years in Barcelona, Spain

8 years in Oregon

But the place I've called home for the longest time is Boise, Idaho. 21 years - divided between 1988 - 1995; 2000-2008; 2018 to 2022.

Each of these places has something I loved.  Arkansas was home to my ancestors for many years. My roots are there.  Mississippi was where I learned to be independent from my parents and made so many life long friends.  Utah is where I met my husband.  Colorado was our 1st home as a couple and as a family of 6.  California is where we become parents for the first time. The years in Barcelona changed us all completely.  Oregon introduced us to some amazing people and where we became involved with Kenya Keys.  Here in Idaho we learned to expect the unexpected like seeing Santa riding his horse on Christmas Eve!

What will the future hold?  More places to call home?

More people to meet?  More adventures?

More learning? More challenges?

Bring on 2023.  The year I turn 70!

Little Things that Mean a Lot

 When my mother died and I was faced with the task of cleaning out her house, I was very grateful that during each visit with her during the last 10 years of her life, she had insisted that we clean out her closets, storage house and attic.  Her feeling was that if I didn't want something that she had, then she should get rid of it.  Of course I did want a lot!  My mother had saved many things from my childhood and those are treasures to me.  Now that I am getting older, I'm also sorting and deciding what is worth keeping.   It isn't easy for me to let things that my mother saved for 60+ years go.  Maybe taking photos of some of them and sharing their meaning will make it easier for me.

Here are 3 souvenirs that I bought during the period of time we lived in Sicily - 1960 - 1963.

The blue vase is from Syracuse,  Italy.  I have no idea why this particular place made such an impression on me.  I was just 6 years old but when we went back to Sicily in 1999 with the boys, I remembered it very well.  Don't you love that in the 60's when you were a tourist in Italy, women wore dresses?

The 'leaning tower of Pisa' was a weather forecaster.  It had some sort of sparkling glitter on the sides which changed color depending on the weather.  Of course the glitter is long gone.  I bought this in Pisa when we made a trip up through Italy to Germany.  

Can you believe there is not one photo of me in Pisa?  My mother didn't take a lot of photos and Daddy was using his movie camera that day.  

I am glad that my Grandma Boyle also was a saver and kept this postcard that my mother sent her.

I especially love the seven cent airmail stamp!  And I guess I did 'take it all in' since I remember the day in Pisa. 

One of my clearest memories is that there were a lot of children receiving their first communion and the little girls wore white dresses that looked like wedding dresses.  Oh, how I wanted one of those dresses since I loved playing 'bride'.  

I found this photo on-line from that time period.  Can't you see why a little girl would really want one?

I never got one.  My parents probably thought it was a bit sacrilegious and I also imagine that they were expensive.

Here is what my mother wrote about that day in Pisa in her trip journal.

I guess the line of girls in white dresses didn't make the same impression on her that it did on me.

I don't really know for sure where I got the small pink vase.  My mother gave me a large round cake plate that is the same color.  I am confident that it came from Catania, Sicily which is the large city close to the base.  When I google 'pink Sicilian Glass' I find that  Williams Sonoma has pink "Sicilian' tableware.  No one around that knows for sure anymore!

All of my treasures aren't from my childhood!

This one was a gift from George when we were dating.

He was a Sunday school teacher in our student congregation.  In one of his lessons he was teaching on the importance of spreading joy by doing little things.  Since it happened to be my birthday, he gave me this small trinket.  Quite the object lesson and I have kept it all these years.  It has been stored in a box but I just put it on display to remind me of the JOYS I've experienced since that Sunday in 1974. My kids may throw it away but I will keep it always to remind me of that skinny young guy that I fell in love with.

Don't we look young?  I was 21 and George was 23.  We WERE young!

The last 'treasure' is one from our time living in Barcelona.  

For most of the 5 years we were there, I led the music in our church's children's organization.  Among the many adorable children were 6 girls from one family.  I loved them and they loved me.  The youngest would often come and sit on my lap during meetings.  George and I have been lucky to attend several of their weddings in Salt Lake and get reacquainted with these girls, now strong women!

Unfortunately I only have a photo of mom and 3 of the girls.

One Sunday they very excitedly gave me these little swans.

Tucked inside were several notes they had written me.

After mentioning that they loved me, they practiced all the English words that they had been learning at school, and wrote a scripture from Genesis.  For more than 22 years I have kept this memento of these little girls and one of the sweetest times in my life when I learned that love knows no boundaries, not language, culture, or age.

In the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up when discussing how to sort 'sentimental items', Marie Kondo writes this, "It is not our memories but the person we have become because of these past experiences that we should treasure.  This is the lesson these keepsakes teach us."

So what have the experiences associated with these keepsakes taught me:

1.  Travel changes you when you 'take it all in'.

2.  Find and give joy with simple things.

3.  Love cuts across language barriers, cultural differences and disparate ages.  

 

 

Rwandan Genocide Memoriał

 I am almost ashamed to admit that I have very few memories of news reports about what happened in Rwanda in 1994 when about one million men, women and children were murdered.  I don't believe our western press gave us very accurate details about what went on.  I do remember seeing the movie Hotel Rwanda and being horrified.  I also read a couple of books about this atrocity.  I reread one of them Left to Tell to give me some context before we visited the Genocide Memorial in Kigali.

Truthfully I was a bit apprehensive about visiting this site but I also knew that I couldn't miss it on our visit to Rwanda.  It was definitely sobering.

250,000 people are buried here in mass graves.

The graves are under the concrete.

The museum describes the events leading up to 1994 as well as graphic details of what happened.  The actual genocide lasted only 100 days but is one of the most notorious modern genocides.  During this period between April and July, nearly one million ethnic Tutsi and moderate Hutu were killed as the International community and UN peacekeepers stood by. 

Photos weren't allowed inside but I found this one on the internet to give you a taste of what it was like to visit.  These are photos of some of the people who were killed by their neighbors and former friends.

It is worth reading through these 10 steps to genocide to be cautious of some of the polarization that is happening in our society right now.

While the museum was unbelievably heartbreaking, I take comfort in how well Rwanda is doing right now only 28 years later.  It is actually illegal to ask anyone their tribe.  Before 1994, a tribe was designated on every national ID card.

The economy is growing rapidly as is evidenced by all the construction.

Tourism is booming.

The city and countryside are clean.

The people are friendly and seem happy.

I love this symbol at the museum.

It stands for UBUMUNTU or GREATNESS of HEART.  In context of the genocide, this word refers to those who selflessly risked their lives to rescue or help those who were being persecuted.  

We can all be champions of humanity by standing against division wherever we live.  

This sentiment gives me hope.

Kwibuka means to remember.  

This made me think of being at Masada in Israel where the motto is

NEVER AGAIN.

Let that be be true in Rwanda and throughout the world.

The Queen is Dead - God Save the King

 

Queen Elizabeth has been a constant throughout my life.  Her accession to the throne was in February 1952, the year before I was born.  Her coronation was in June 1953, just two months before my birth.  My Daddy was on a US Navy ship that was sent to England that summer and missed my birth.  My mother was thankful that he arrived home to Arkansas when I was only a few days old.  I read that 1 in 5 people in Britain are like me and remember no other monarch.  

As I have thought about the Queen since her passing last week, the phrase that kept coming to mind is that she has always been a part of my life.  I realize that is a weird statement about someone that I never met, never even saw in person.  Yet I have been interested in her life for as long as I can remember. I have watched documentaries and TV shows and read books and magazines to 'know' her as best a person can.  

I love her because she was the personification of duty, service and commitment.  Of course I don't believe that she was perfect.  I cringe at some of the stories of her 'mothering', like leaving young Charles and Anne with the Queen Mum for 6 months for a Royal tour when they were so young. I am sure that she could have done more to help Princess Diana.  

In her words just after the year that she called her ‘Annus Horribilis,  she said 

“I sometimes wonder how future generations will judge the events of this tumultuous year. I dare say that history will take a slightly more moderate view than that of some contemporary commentators. Distance is well-known to lend enchantment, even to the less attractive views. After all, it has the inestimable advantage of hindsight.

But it can also lend an extra dimension to judgement, giving it a leavening of moderation and compassion - even of wisdom - that is sometimes lacking in the reactions of those whose task it is in life to offer instant opinions on all things great and small.

No section of the community has all the virtues, neither does any have all the vices. I am quite sure that most people try to do their jobs as best they can, even if the result is not always entirely successful. He who has never failed to reach perfection has a right to be the harshest critic.

There can be no doubt, of course, that criticism is good for people and institutions that are part of public life. No institution - City, Monarchy, whatever - should expect to be free from the scrutiny of those who give it their loyalty and support, not to mention those who don't.

But we are all part of the same fabric of our national society and that scrutiny, by one part of another, can be just as effective if it is made with a touch of gentleness, good humour and understanding.”

When I think of Queen Elizabeth’s life, all the drama, the gossip, the divorces and the scandals, I think of my own family and the families of friends.  None of us are perfect.  What would it be like to have every foible and flaw the subject of worldwide gossip, TV commentary, editorials and even movies and TV shows.  Would I react with the grace and humor that she did?  Would I learn from mistakes and do better in the future?  Her treatment of Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle (at least in the early days of Meghan) seem to indicate that she did learn from the tragedy of Diana.  I admire her ability to adapt to a world that is so very different from the world she knew 70 years ago when she became the Queen.  We all have adjusted, grown and learned but few of us had to do it on the world stage as has Queen Elizabeth. 

I will miss her smile, her bright suits, and her big purses. The world will never forget the Paddington Bear Video nor the ‘mission’ with James Bond for the London Olympics.

I am comforted that she is with her beloved Prince Philip who was by her side for 73 years. 

As King Charles said, ‘May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest’