Father's Day 2024

Pictures of 4 of my favorite 'fathers'. 

My cousin Joy died a couple of years ago and her husband died last month.  When their children were cleaning out the house, they found this photo of my Daddy. that I had never seen before.

My guess is that this was taken in 1942, just after he joined the navy at the start of World War II.

This one is an oldie but a favorite of mine.

George and our boys rocking their new German hats in Berchtesgaden 1996.

And here is Mark with Jackson on their way to church.

Any questions about what kind of Dad Mark is can be answered by looking at the Paw Patrol sticker on his car window and his GI Joe tie!

Johnny and Monica always seem to have fun together. 

He makes her laugh and is willing to act silly and play with her.

And a funny Father's Day story - 

We played a 'Would He Rather?" game and tried to figure out which of two things George would rather do.

I have known George for 50 years and been married to him for 49.

Johnny and Matt are 39 and 43.

Cady has known him for less than 2 years.

Guess who won the game?  Yep Cady.  There were 17 questions and she got 16 correct.  The boys and I each got 12.  Either she is a very lucky guesser or she is just very intuitive. Glad she is a part of the family!

Perfect Love

When we got back from Kenya in October, I discovered that the memory on my computer was so full that I couldn't download my photos so I have been diligently deleting photos that were stored in two places, organizing documents, and putting some downloads in the 'trash'.  One of the documents I found was a talk I gave to the Young Women in our Ward about 10 years ago.  

This week we had a snow day and more snow is expected so it seemed a perfect time to share my thoughts on snow and love!  The photos are not from a snowstorm in Lonoke.  Some are from Providence, Rhode Island and others from Port Deposit, Maryland, both places we lived when my Daddy was in the Navy.

"I love snow!!!  I love the way it looks on the trees and shrubs.  I love the crunchy way it sounds when you walk on it. I love the smell and the feel in the air….I love snowmen!  When my children were little and we lived in Colorado, those snowy days seemed almost magical to me.  Schools would be closed, Dads would be home from work and our neighborhood would become a fairyland of white, glistening snow filled with the excited voices of snowsuit clad children!  In spite of all the damp mittens and coats and boots that littered my laundry room, those days were filled with fun.  Snowmen!  Hot chocolate and toasted cheese!  Snow forts and snowball fights!  I loved it!  I always felt sad when it melted enough that the normal life of school and work started again.

I think my love of snow comes from growing up in Arkansas.  In Lonoke, Arkansas it does occasionally snow.  Lonoke is a small town.

When I was a child, the population was less than 2000. .  Lonoke has no snow removal equipment, no snowplows, people don’t have chains for their cars, and most people have little or no experience driving in snow so when it snows in Lonoke, even an inch or two, the town essentially shuts down.  No one goes to work, no one drives anywhere, school is closed….I remember the excitement of going to bed when it was snowing and wondering all night if it was just a little flurry that wouldn't stick or would it  stick so the next day would be a snow day.  Snow days yippee!!!

Last year I read this in a magazine

 

“Once, after dinner, my father hitched up the horse and took my mother and me for a sleigh ride.  The winter stars were very bright.  The sleigh bells made a lovely sound. I was bundled up to the nose, between my father and my mother, where nothing, not even the cold, could get at me.  The very perfection of happiness. “ from Later Novels and Stories by William Maxwell. 

 

This little paragraph brought back a memory so strong and clear that I could feel the moment in time.  

During one of those rare Lonoke snowstorms when I was probably 8 or 9, my parents and I went for a walk down Court Street towards town. The snow was crisp and crunched under our feet.  It was getting a bit dark so it was late afternoon. I remember that my mother had on the long brownish coat with a hood that I never liked once I was old enough to be concerned about my mother looking “cool” so that I would be “cool”.  That day though I was just thrilled with the snow, with no school plus having Moma and Daddy both home during the day. I’m sure that the snowy roads had closed not only school but all other businesses. I was holding both of their hands and would slide along on the icy roads as we walked.  Sometimes they would lift me up in the air ahead of them.  It was cold but I felt like the man in the preceding  paragraph…..safe “between my father and my mother where nothing, not even the cold could get at me.  The very perfection of happiness.”

My father and mother are both dead now but I still can feel that same safety and peace because I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. The YW theme starts out, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us…..”

 

President Uchtdorf spoke of this love so eloquently last conference….I don’t want to paraphrase his words but read them to you….I hope in your minds you can hear the distinctive accented voice of this prophet of God….

 

"Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you.

God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.

He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us."

 

It is my prayer that each of you young women that I love so much can feel the love of our Heavenly Father ….& that because of that love you feel safe where nothing, not the cold or sadness or depression can get you…..and that you feel the very perfection of happiness."

And today in 2024, that is still my prayer - that we all feel the love of our Heavenly Father and experience a moment of perfect happiness.

 

Can't Forget Mark!

Our Jackson hit the jackpot with his parents.  Mark is a great dad for our little guy.

He takes him to breakfast every Saturday morning at Waffle House.  Often they then go on a Home Depot trip.  Mark picks up the kid's DIY kits and then teaches Jackson as they work on completing the project together.

Hammering

Painting

To make a little birdhouse and feeder!

Doesn't he look cute in his Home Depot apron?

Mark is the perfect recipient of my antique toys!

My mother saved this truck for many years and I finally decided to give it to Mark.

He did some research and learned that it is from 1958, when I was 5 years old.

In his research he learned that you could buy a replacement tailgate and the small chains so, of course, he did.

Now my antique truck looks like new.

Thanks Mark.

A couple of years ago, I gave Mark the Marklin train that my mother had saved from my childhood.  Again, he researched, bought the needed parts and now Jackson has a train set.

Mark even bought more cars and enough tracks that they can make a figure 8.

Makes me smile to see my grandson playing with my old train set.

I love thinking of my Daddy in heaven watching his grandson play with the train he gave me so many years ago.

So glad that I got to spend time with this family and participate in their activities.

One Last Holiday Post

Recently I came across this photo. Yep that is me on Christmas probably in about 1964.  It was taken with my parents brand new Polaroid camera.

I love everything about it.  The real tree covered with icicles. My 'European' school girl look with knee socks and a blazer with some sort of insignia.  I'm even wearing a barret. The flipped hair which was so stylish!  And just look at the TV!  It was my own TV for my bedroom.  I remember how thrilled I was.

I really wish the camera had captured the whole living room. I'd love to take a walk down memory lane.

 My parents hardly took any photos after we moved back to Lonoke.  There are quite a few of me when we lived far away from home but from the time we moved back to Lonoke when I was in 3rd grade until I graduated from high school there are few.

My children and grandchildren won't have that complaint.

I have 30 boxes of slides that I am working to digitize.

20+ videos

25+ paper scrapbooks

Blog books for the last 13 years

And so many photos of them on my phone and computer that I wouldn't even attempt to count them. 

They might have the reverse complaint - too many photos.

Little Things that Mean a Lot

 When my mother died and I was faced with the task of cleaning out her house, I was very grateful that during each visit with her during the last 10 years of her life, she had insisted that we clean out her closets, storage house and attic.  Her feeling was that if I didn't want something that she had, then she should get rid of it.  Of course I did want a lot!  My mother had saved many things from my childhood and those are treasures to me.  Now that I am getting older, I'm also sorting and deciding what is worth keeping.   It isn't easy for me to let things that my mother saved for 60+ years go.  Maybe taking photos of some of them and sharing their meaning will make it easier for me.

Here are 3 souvenirs that I bought during the period of time we lived in Sicily - 1960 - 1963.

The blue vase is from Syracuse,  Italy.  I have no idea why this particular place made such an impression on me.  I was just 6 years old but when we went back to Sicily in 1999 with the boys, I remembered it very well.  Don't you love that in the 60's when you were a tourist in Italy, women wore dresses?

The 'leaning tower of Pisa' was a weather forecaster.  It had some sort of sparkling glitter on the sides which changed color depending on the weather.  Of course the glitter is long gone.  I bought this in Pisa when we made a trip up through Italy to Germany.  

Can you believe there is not one photo of me in Pisa?  My mother didn't take a lot of photos and Daddy was using his movie camera that day.  

I am glad that my Grandma Boyle also was a saver and kept this postcard that my mother sent her.

I especially love the seven cent airmail stamp!  And I guess I did 'take it all in' since I remember the day in Pisa. 

One of my clearest memories is that there were a lot of children receiving their first communion and the little girls wore white dresses that looked like wedding dresses.  Oh, how I wanted one of those dresses since I loved playing 'bride'.  

I found this photo on-line from that time period.  Can't you see why a little girl would really want one?

I never got one.  My parents probably thought it was a bit sacrilegious and I also imagine that they were expensive.

Here is what my mother wrote about that day in Pisa in her trip journal.

I guess the line of girls in white dresses didn't make the same impression on her that it did on me.

I don't really know for sure where I got the small pink vase.  My mother gave me a large round cake plate that is the same color.  I am confident that it came from Catania, Sicily which is the large city close to the base.  When I google 'pink Sicilian Glass' I find that  Williams Sonoma has pink "Sicilian' tableware.  No one around that knows for sure anymore!

All of my treasures aren't from my childhood!

This one was a gift from George when we were dating.

He was a Sunday school teacher in our student congregation.  In one of his lessons he was teaching on the importance of spreading joy by doing little things.  Since it happened to be my birthday, he gave me this small trinket.  Quite the object lesson and I have kept it all these years.  It has been stored in a box but I just put it on display to remind me of the JOYS I've experienced since that Sunday in 1974. My kids may throw it away but I will keep it always to remind me of that skinny young guy that I fell in love with.

Don't we look young?  I was 21 and George was 23.  We WERE young!

The last 'treasure' is one from our time living in Barcelona.  

For most of the 5 years we were there, I led the music in our church's children's organization.  Among the many adorable children were 6 girls from one family.  I loved them and they loved me.  The youngest would often come and sit on my lap during meetings.  George and I have been lucky to attend several of their weddings in Salt Lake and get reacquainted with these girls, now strong women!

Unfortunately I only have a photo of mom and 3 of the girls.

One Sunday they very excitedly gave me these little swans.

Tucked inside were several notes they had written me.

After mentioning that they loved me, they practiced all the English words that they had been learning at school, and wrote a scripture from Genesis.  For more than 22 years I have kept this memento of these little girls and one of the sweetest times in my life when I learned that love knows no boundaries, not language, culture, or age.

In the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up when discussing how to sort 'sentimental items', Marie Kondo writes this, "It is not our memories but the person we have become because of these past experiences that we should treasure.  This is the lesson these keepsakes teach us."

So what have the experiences associated with these keepsakes taught me:

1.  Travel changes you when you 'take it all in'.

2.  Find and give joy with simple things.

3.  Love cuts across language barriers, cultural differences and disparate ages.  

 

 

Royalty

I readily admit that I have an obsession with the British Royal family.  I remember getting up in the very early hours to watch Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer's wedding and I did it again to watch Prince William wed Kate Middleton. In Barcelona, I even went down to the Cathedral when one of the Spanish princesses was wed.  No one else in my family was willing to brave the crowds.  Mary would have gone with me, I am sure, but she was already away at college.   That day I got a very friendly wave from Prince Edward who, seeing my blond hair among all the dark haired Spaniards, probably thought I was British!

Our family has a bit of 'family tradition' relating to the Royal Family.  My Daddy was in the Navy and was actually in England during the time of the Queen's Coronation in 1953. 

 In fact he missed my birth because of that assignment. 

Family lore holds that he was part of the fleet that was sent to honor Queen Elizabeth.  I did some research and learned a bit about the ship he was on in July 1953 - the USS Antietam.

She was sent to England but her mission there was to conduct joint testing with the British on a new design for aircraft carriers.  The Antietam had been retrofitted with an angled deck.  Before this time, carrier decks were straight like the top design.  The Antietam now had the angled design of the bottom ship.  The result of this testing was that the angled design was most efficient.  The first ship built with this design was a British carrier; although other ships (like the Antietam) had been retrofitted with the angled design. Now it is the norm.   

Yes, in Top Gun-Maverick the deck is angled! 

While he was on board the Antietam in 1953, I was born in Little Rock, Arkansas. Daddy made it home before my mother and I left the hospital. Of course, in those days, postpartum stays were often as long as a week. He must have been on his way home when I was born. The train carrying Daddy arrived late at night but he came directly to the hospital to see me. Moma says that I was wide awake when he arrived.While in England, Daddy bought a set of Wedgwood china in a pattern called Charwood and carried it home in a large box; first on his ship and then on the train from New York to Lonoke. Needless to say, it is a treasure.

Because of all of this, I have always felt a 'connection' with Queen Elizabeth and the royal family. 

So yes, I bought a Platinum Jubilee mug.

And I watched video after video of the celebrations.  

I was thoroughly entertained.  The kids, the pomp and ceremony, the fashion, the crowds so obviously honoring a woman who has served them well for 70 years!  

I confess to shedding a tear or two when the Queen and her 3 heirs stood on the balcony and sang 'God Save the Queen'. 

It reminded me of this quote from the new Downton Abbey movie: 

Individual Crawleys come and go, but the family lives on.

Treasures

 One of the perks of being an only child is that my mother kept quite a few of my toys.  I am so glad she did.

Sometime in the 1950's, probably about 1956, Daddy bought me a Märklin train set.  Although it stopped working many years ago, my mother held onto it.  In case you are unfamiliar with Märklin, it's a German toy company founded in 1859 that made model trains. In fact it is considered the premier manufacturer of high end train sets.  I don't know if my mother thought it would be valuable or if she just kept it for sentimental reasons.  I have dutifully moved it around for the last 40 years since she 'gifted' it to me.  We never researched what it would take to get it working again although we raised 3 boys.

I had a sudden inspiration that son-in-law Mark would be the perfect person to figure out what to do with this train set.  He enjoys refurbishing antiques and is willing to put the time and money into necessary research. 

I was so right.  He took the train set and the huge transformer back to West Virginia.  Within a few days, he had learned that the old transformers are a fire risk and had ordered a new one.  Plus he found a great deal on another set and bought that too, so that Jackson now has a figure 8 track and 2 trains!

Somehow I imagine my Daddy up in heaven watching his only grandson playing with that train.  I am sure he is smiling down with joy.  Thanks so much Mark. 

Another treasure from the 1950's is my doll house.  Anyone else find it disquieting that toys you played with are considered antiques???  Anyway, Isabella absolutely loves it. In fact when she left our house last week she said, "Grandma, I am going to miss you and the doll house."  When I asked her which one she would miss more, she didn't hesitate, "The dollhouse".

She is totally entertained with the little people and all the furniture. 

I distinctly remember how much I loved the modern ranch style house, complete with a fish pond on the patio.

Although I had quite a bit of furniture, I starting looking on line to see if I could buy more.  Who knew that 1950's plastic doll house furniture was available on E-bay?  Now we have a veritable furniture store.

If you are around my age you probably remember the big furniture like TVs.  Anyone have a TV that also had a record player?  I am sure that was the height of chic!  

I am glad my mother wasn't a minimalist or a follower of Marie Kondo!  I love sharing these treasures with my own 'treasures' - Jackson and Isabella.

Happy birthday Daddy!

My Daddy, Jake Gates Montgomery, was born 106 years ago on January 31, 1916.  He's the younger boy in this photo.  The other boy, Joe David Montgomery, is the father of Jane Montgomery Derning and Joy Montgomery Cummings.  Grandfather to Kerrie Pollitt and Kellie Huggs, Amanda Cummings McGraw and Leigh Anne Cummings Stankoski, Alan Creech and Tracy Creech Lloyd.  Alan and Tracy's mother was my cousin, June Montgomery Creech, who died in 1986 from Leukemia. 

Dave Montgomery died in 1947 from an accident. Called out to his job as a linesman for Arkansas Power and Light on a Sunday, he was electrocuted and fell to his death.  My cousins were just little girls.

Daddy died of cancer 43 years ago at the age of 63 on May 27, 1979.  I was only 25.

My parents were married for 30 years before Daddy's death.  My mother was a widow for almost the exact same amount of time that she was a wife. 

 I'm so thankful to be absolutely sure these words are truth.

Because It Mattered To Her

I am so lucky to have quite a few tangible mementos that remind me of my parents. One of my most treasured is this set of bowls. I hardly dare use them because I am so afraid that one will get broken. When I was a child, I distinctly remember dinners when my mother's delicious black eyed peas, or chicken salad or 5 cup salad was served in one of these bowls. However it is another memory that makes them precious to me. My father was the gentlest of men. He never liked to make any kind of trouble or create any sort of disturbance. I am sure that is why this particular incident made such an impression on me. My mother had used one of these bowls to take a meal to a family in our church who had just welcomed a new baby. After several weeks, the bowl had not been returned even after my mother had asked to have it back. A couple more weeks passed and still the bowl was not returned and my mother was upset. My reserved, unassuming Daddy drove over to the home and asked for the bowl. I know this was not easy for him to do as he didn't like to make waves but he did and returned with the bowl. Why did it matter to Daddy? It was just a bowl. It mattered to him because it mattered to my mother. What a perfect example of love! And what a valuable lesson for an impressionable young girl.